Naming my baby bean

Ever since losing my precious baby bean I've wondered if my love was a boy or girl. I miscarried too early to tell but I needed to know so I could name him/her and be able to refer to the correct gender. Now I'll never know the gender until I get to Heaven, but I've decided that I'm going to name my baby a gender neutral name. I think that someone who has lost a baby that they'd prayed for and were so excited to have will understand why I need to do this. 

A friend of mine was pregnant with twins and found out a little over a week ago that she lost one. I private messaged and asked if she was able to find out the gender and told her my reasons I wish I could have and she said no, but she really wanted to find out. She was able to do an at-home kit and just found out hers is a girl. She is in the process of finding the perfect name for her now. 

Today I started thinking of gender neutral names that "fit" with our family and I know for sure that the middle name will be Lee, after my mama. I've thought of several first names but none really fit. The name I'm leaning towards the most is Maddox or Mattox. We had that name picked out for a boy when I was pregnant with Mattilyn, but I now know a baby girl named this so I see how it can work both ways. So for now, my baby in Heaven is named Maddox Lee Butler. At this time this name seems more masculine and less gender neutral than I wanted, but it's a name that I could see us using and it's important that my baby has that. 

In the off chance someone actually looks at my blog, thanks for reading my rambling post. 

God bless!